Frequently Asked

Q. Does "God" exist?
A. No. Don't be a fucking idiot.

Q. WWJD?
A. Nothing. It is a loaded question based upon the badly discredited premise that "Jesus" is (a) alive, and (b) in a position to do anything. The belief that this alleged "son of god" has (a) infinite and supernatural power, and (b) the inclination to use it to save Humanity is probably wrong considering he couldn't even get out on bail.

Q. Is Atheism a religion?
A. Only to those who suffer under the delusion that such verbal perversions have some undefined legal ramifications regarding prayer in school or other such nonsense. In reality, Atheism is pretty much the opposite of religion, so whoever told you that told you wrong.

Q. Is Evolution a religion?
A. Another religio-political verbal perversion which seems to occasionally work at school board meetings in some of the more theocratic states. Their "reasoning" seems to be something like this: the ridiculous biblical creationism fairy tale has nothing to do with a specific religion, but is actually a valid, though overlooked scientific "theory", while the actual biological science of Evolution is a "religion" unsupported by any evidence, and as such should not be taught in schools because that would be wrong. Those who find such "logic" attractive should go read a book and try not to show their ignorance in public.

Q. Is religion 100% grade A bullshit?
A. Yes

Q. Can fundamentalists handle constructive criticism?
A. No, they quickly anger when their superstition is questioned. Thinly veiled threats of eternal damnation are frequently made with the clear implication that no punishment is severe enough for those who don't blindly accept the xian god-myth.

Q. Are all god-believers idiots?
A. No, not all. They are merely misinformed and frequently boneheaded. Sometimes their skewed view of reality makes them behave like idiots. Sometimes it even makes 'em dangerous.

Q. So Atheists don't believe in anything?
A. Not in fairy tales. Not in flagrant contradictions. Not without some proof. I live in an objective universe and I am quite confident in its existence. It is abundantly clear that the uninformed, superstition-laden guesswork of the ancients regarding the workings of the universe was wrong. It is not necessary, nor is it beneficial, to "believe" in that silliness.

Q. Will church attendance become mandatory with George the Appointed as president?
A. Yes.

Q. Does the bible say not to kill people?
A. Yes

Q. Does the bible say to kill people?
A. Yes

Q. Is Karl Rove the anti-christ?
A. As you should be aware, if you read your bible, the antichrist appears after the rapture. The rapture cannot happen until the temple is rebuilt. Therefore, Karl Rove cannot be the antichrist. Karl Rove is Satan.

Q. Are you the anti-christ?
A. No. See above

Q. How do you know god doesn't exist?
A. Same way you know Santa Claus doesn't exist. It's a fucking fairy tale. Grow up.

Q. Prove it!
A. Bite me.

Q. Well, I believe in god!
A. Sorry, that's not a question and you are just plain wrong.

Q. YOU'RE GONNA BURN IN HELL FOREVER LIKE YOU DESERVE, MOTHERFUCKER!!!
A. Learn that in church?

Essays

Frequently Asked